Thursday, September 1, 2011
Friday, July 17, 2009
Natpe, Inc
Can you believe this one,, Today the ups truck pulls up and drops an envelope at the door! A check for 2,500 dollars. No instructions,, no reason why. Looks real to me.. so take it to the bank.. Of course its a fraud. Why , and for what reason would someone send a fraudulent check? UPS.!!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Thanks alot
Dear Family and Friends,
I just want to thank all of you for your emails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. I check under sheets for bed mites.
Sleep tight, dont let the bedbugs bite.
I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital like she almost did last year and the year before, and the year before. I still feel so sad for her.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Thank God for their Philanthropy !!
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 3,214 angels looking out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes, like that ever happens.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, and rust.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I also no longer can pump my gas without touching my car to ground myself so I dont blow up!
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. As well as putting a jaw breaker in the microwave or the contents will become like molten Lava.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample in the parking lot and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for or which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda;, Singapore and Uzbekistan .
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex predator waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 100 people in the next 30 minutes, a large pigeon with diarrhea will land on your head this afternoon...
Have a wonderful day...
I just want to thank all of you for your emails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. I check under sheets for bed mites.
Sleep tight, dont let the bedbugs bite.
I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital like she almost did last year and the year before, and the year before. I still feel so sad for her.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Thank God for their Philanthropy !!
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 3,214 angels looking out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes, like that ever happens.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, and rust.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I also no longer can pump my gas without touching my car to ground myself so I dont blow up!
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. As well as putting a jaw breaker in the microwave or the contents will become like molten Lava.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample in the parking lot and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for or which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda;, Singapore and Uzbekistan .
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex predator waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 100 people in the next 30 minutes, a large pigeon with diarrhea will land on your head this afternoon...
Have a wonderful day...
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